august is almost over yet my calendars still say its july. i have no idea where all this time went but i'm still stuck being the same person i was a month ago, in the same situations that hover above my skin and weigh me down. i can't write in this journal anymore so i'm closing it indefinately. maybe ill open one up elsewhere but in the meantime:
or find me on facebook
there's no excuse for losing touch
it smells like autumn today in the way that clouds fold endlessly amongst the sky. its been lazy yet lovely, i finally got to discuss harry potter with a person who's read it, and i reread the ending now i feel tired of it. these feels are shoved into my brain unable to be processed immediately. the final book is here and gone. beautiful as ever yet it leaves me feeling kind of strange, i'm not sure what to do with myself. 2007 has been a year of endings. its only july yet ive read the final installments of three beloved series, watched the series finales of two of the only three television shows that i watch and left education behind for a world of utter unknown.
and now i just dont feel like i can talk to most people, my heart is caught in my chest and i am tired of trying so hard yet receiving nothing. friendship is a sticky word that is vastly defined by the song that first reached my ears an entire decade ago. on friday night taylor hanson deemed mmmbop to be a ballad to us, of ten years. the knowledge that only the important people last. hold on to the one's who really care. and i find myself holding on to those who are so far away, and those who only exist on paper and in the minds of others.
i'm off to get hot chocolate on a july night, arming myself with my italia sweatshirt and mountains of nostalgia i dont think ill ever be able to climb in my dreams
it's 6:47 am and i've yet to sleep, i tried twice but the silence was only taken over by the rapidness of my heart.
i wont sleep now
because i'm too busy acting on piracy and finding out endings before it is time
an update on me, my life and this week:
i'm bleeding out of my vagina
i have high blood sugar
i'm getting my computer fixed
i'm looking for a new job
hanson (!!!) on friday
harry potter (!!!) on friday & saturday
hanson (!!!) again on saturday night after an unslept me attempts to rock out.
downside: unless i want to hang out in providence for six or so hours by myself, i dont know when/if i'll get a wrist band for harry. downside: harry's possible fate. downside: hanson... you suck for coming to MA this weekend.
upside: hanson! harry potter! uhhh 'nuff said
this summer heat is making me melt and all my days are turning into one giant sticky lump of existance. i have 1000 more pages to read this week before friday night (annddd 600+ to read friday night, weee) and i really wish i had a swimming pool
your friends are not going to remain your friends if you do not make the effort to be theirs